I think the thing about that guy, J, was that he approached me BEFORE the surgery. While I'm having the surgery to be healthy blablabla, if I'm totally honest I'm doing it because I think I might stand more of a chance meeting someone if I'm thin(ner) - shallow as this may be. And J approached me and wanted to hang out/sleep with me/call me gorgeous etc even when I felt at my most gross.
We ended up meeting Saturday week ago, he was very sweet, bought me flowers, we hung out, I learned that sex with the band wasn't going to be an issued, we laughed lots. He called me later to say he'd had a lovely time. He messaged me after my first day back at work to check all was going ok. He called last Wednesday night to say sorry for not being in touch much (lot on at work). And then nothing... I had asked him if he fancied going out somewhere on Friday evening. And just nothing. We're now on Tuesday night and still nothing - yet he's been happily updating facebook.
So I guess that is that. Live and learn - yeah yeah, keep them keener and all that. I just wish there wasn't any of this game playing and trying to second guess. If a guy likes me and I like him, and we've spent a few dates together, why am I breaking the rules to sleep with him? Ugh!
A good friend currently staying with me reminds me that I must take the positive from these experiences...the positive being that he liked me for me (so he tells me), and that it's not all about being thin.
Did a "not great" thing this evening and ate ice cream and 60g chocolate out of frustration. I've actually been pretty good over the past three weeks (nearly finished week four). Am still having some mashies, but mostly still liquid. Steamed milk for "afternoon snacks". All home made oil free soups and stews. Fresh smoothies. Perhaps a cocktail or two (err...or four) on a night out (felt ROUGH the next day) (on the other hand, was great to be out dancing til 4am to brilliant music wearing Marc Jacobs shoes and flicking blonde hair all over the place). Weight loss about 4 days ago was still the same as before (rather annoyingly), so just need to continue on the right track and persevere.
I have one scar that is taking a while to heal though - the largish one in the middle(ish) of my tummy. Does everyone get a slightly larger one there? I think I kept the dressings on too long, and it meant a scab didn't form, but have (hopefully!) done the right thing now in letting the wound dry out. Unfortunately it will probably end up keloiding, and I'll need steroid jabs in it, but I think it's a small price.
Looking to go on holiday somewhere hot at the beginning of April - feel like I need one. Hopefully Egypt/Turkey or somewhere in the vicinity. Middle eastern uprisings mean some places are as cheap as chips to go on hols - especially egypt - £350 for 5 nights at all inclusive 5* hotel. Not my usual kind of holiday (I like to think of myself as slightly more of an intrepid explorer), but a book, a beach and fresh fruit juices are just what I need right now.
Feeling too cross today to add pictures to the blog - v sorry, will try and get out of bed on the right side next time, and leave idiot men out of the equation.