Two exciting things today. I will tell you about those in a sec.
I suppose I should start at the very beginning though. You've probably read the little bit "about me", and I might get the courage up to post a photo. I'm pretty normal, and I wouldn't stand out in a crowd. I count myself as lucky in life: I have a good job, I own my flat, I have healthy parents and a doting younger sister, my shoe collection includes Jimmy and Marc (Christian will come soon), and people tend to like me.
But over the past 6 months I have started the process of getting a gastric band fitted. I'm doing this on the NHS (I don't have the £6,000K spare needed to have it done privately, and I pay my taxes and NIC, so don't feel too guilty about this), so the whole process has been very slow. Last Friday I was accepted for the surgery, and have been told that I have about 4-6 months on the waiting list. So there won't be too many gruesome surgery stories just yet.
If you're reading this and have struggled iwth your weight, you will know that its not so easy as someone saying "well why don't you just not eat between meals" or "only eat low fat food" or "stop eating when you're full." Oh yes. While I have a degree from Cambridge, can rattle off every single one of my credit card numbers by memory, and like to think I'm sensible and mature, I'm unable to follow these simple rules when it counts. I have, however, done quite a bit of exercise over the years - cycling/spinning classes, running round Battersea park, aerobics on a saturday morning followed by legsbumsandtums followed by yoga (3 hours in a row yeahhhh), every form of dance class possible, rowing...and I've just taken up bikram yoga. My weight doesn't really change however much exercise I do. Bugg*r.
My doctor was the first one to suggest the surgery. I cried my eyes out when he suggested it. "It will seem like I've admitted failure, I will be so ashamed." Err...because 4 months of Lighter Life (less than 500 calories a day) and losing 4 stone - just to put it all on again - doesn't seem like enough failure? And all those cabbage soup diet weeks. And weight watchers attempts. And bulimia attempts? The doctor was right - enough of those "failures". I now need something to change my life, and draw a line under what has happened before. Enough is indeed enough.
The two exciting things
1. I've known about Wah Nails for a while, just never been. Went to topshop last night and got these done:
I think they're cute. Some of my friends think they are hideous (I can understand this). They're not fake, just painted on by a very clever lady.
2. A friend of a friend of a friend (you know how these things go) has had lap band surgery, and she's agreed to give me her phone number. Just spoke to her briefly this afternoon - it's obviously changed her life (duh!), but in a very good way. We've arranged to speak over the weekend, and I need to think about all the questions I want to ask her...the answers to which will probably be my next post.